A Storm without Rain
by Mapping the Soul
Summary: Godukera is loyal, Yamamoto can't decide and Tsuna is not that kind when it comes to the person he loves. M/M implications. One-shot.


**Rating:** T

**Warning:** M/M

**Fandom:** Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

**Pairing/Relationship:** 8027 Yamamoto/Tsuna, 8059 Yamamoto/Gokudera (one sided)

**Status:** Completed

**Author:** Mapping the Soul

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

**Summary:** Godukera is loyal, Yamamoto can't decide and Tsuna is not that kind when it comes to the person he loves.

* * *

**A Storm Without Rain**

_"Sorry, if I said yes, I don't think it'd stop raining."_

—

_"Come on, Gokudera," he beckons with a light wave, "Over here."_

_Gokudera Hayato stares flatly and turns away. He hates how annoying familiar the man is with him and the Tenth. However, he can never get away. The Tenth Boss of the Vongola family likes Yamamoto Takeshi too much for his liking. Before he can even turn the corner, the baseball player has caught up and thrown his arm around Gokudera's shoulders with a smile stuck on his face._

_"We should go together. We're friends, right?"_

Gokudera Hayato exhales a sigh as he leans his back against the door of the dojo training room. It's empty so he doesn't know what he plans to do there, but Gokudera stays seated until his patience runs out. Taking a final drag of his cigarette, Gokudera crushes the butt of the smoke under his feet as he pulls out his phone to call the Tenth Boss of the Vongola family. The sun is already up and shining but to Sawada Tsunayoshi, it still seems to be too early. The tone of his voice is gently mixed with some irritation as he picks up the phone.

[Hello…?]

"Tenth," Godukera says with the same amount of passion and respect he always has when it comes to Sawada Tsunayoshi. "I'm sorry for waking you so early but I have an urgent request."

[What is it?] There is a pause. [Sorry, one second.]

The words that come out next aren't meant for Gokudera but he hears them anyway. He doesn't question whether the Vongola Tenth's actions are intentional or not. Gokudera has always been supportive of the Mafioso, no matter what his choices. The sound of sheet rustles as if it's being brushed against the phone and a familiar muffled voice from a third party tells Gokudera that he has bad timing. However, he waits patiently until Tsuna returns to the conversation and then voices his request.

[Ah, that time of the year has come huh? You're free to come back when you're ready, Gokudera-kun.]

"Thank you very much, Tenth." Gokudera bows his head even though he cannot be seen, "Please contact me if you need anything. I'll be on standby."

There is another light shuffle and a muffled reply before the line cuts off. Gokudera pockets his phone as he finishes his smoke. He leaves the souvenirs at the corner in front of the door and goes on his way. No matter how long he waits, that person won't show up, not today and not the next either. He ruffles his hair with a sigh and then lights a new smoke. He takes a deep drag and exhales with a glare. Gokudera knows that smoking is harmful. But he has never managed to drop the habit because there is no immediate effect. However, for a while now, Gokudera feels it in his chest every time he takes a drag.

—

_"Well you know, Tsuna is my friend so of course I'll give up things for him, if I need to."_

_Gokudera smiles, "So you should! As a member of the family—not that I've acknowledged you yet—you should be dedicating yourself to the Tenth!"_

_Yamamoto chuckles, "You really like Tsuna, don't you?"_

_"What's with that familiarity?!" Gokudera yells, "Have some respect!"_

Gokudera is shooting his mouth off and fails to notice the glare and the purple flames flaring. He finally stops to look when there is nothing but silence from the Cloud Guardian. Just looking at the old middle school senior pisses him off. That much about their relationship has not changed. Hibari likes to pick fights and Gokudera answers but he's never won.

"No," Hibari Kyouya's response is firm and cold, "Why should I?"

"Heh," Gokudera scoffs and unfolds his legs. When facing Hibari Kyouya, one should always be ready to fight it out rather than talk. "You didn't even listen to the end, you bastard!"

"Kyou-san! Gokudera-san! Please stop fighting!" Kusakube interrupts the conversation with a heavy sigh. "Can't you two ever have a normal conversation without blowing the place up?"

Hibari shoots a glare and readies his tonfas, "I think you need to be punished."

"Oh shut up with that committee stuff," Gokudera interrupts, "I'll trade some Cloud Rings with you so lend it to me for a few days."

Hibari pauses and thinks over the offer. Gokudera dangles a large number of purple gem Cloud Rings in front of him and Hibari thinks of punishing the man for his bribe but there are so many, he feels awfully tempted. They'd last him for a long time and his research on rings will be greatly assisted. Another plus is the fact that he will not have to go in search for them and avoid crowding. Hibari move swiftly across the room. He bashes Gokudera with his tonfas when the younger man smirks but they have a deal.

—

_Gokudera pulls himself away, face flushed and panting. He's surprised at his ability to kiss with such force. No one will believe him if he said that kind of kiss was his first. The way that Yamamoto's arms wrap around his waist was extremely possessive and Gokudera guesses that it's normal for someone who's been chasing him. What scares him though is how his response is equally needy and dominating._

_"Tastes like tobacco," Yamamoto comments with a chuckle._

_"Shut up." Gokudera glares and turns away, "Don't just go attacking people like that!"_

_"So if I give you a warning next time, it'll be all right?"_

_Gokudera's eyes flicker open with shock, "Next time I'll blow you up!"_

He heaves an exhausted sigh as he stares at his coded letter and tells himself that there won't be a first, let alone a next. If he remembers correctly, the date should be perfect. The problem lies in what will unfold once he starts to change the events of the past. Gokudera is surprised to feel a hint of fear in him when he looks at the 10 Year Bazooka Reverse. He did steal it from the Bovino family and it is still in the testing stage but it should work. Besides, he's heard that at least he'll be able to come back. The problem with the 10 Year Bazooka is still its inefficiency. Five minutes isn't enough for anything.

Looking at his clock, Gokudera picks up the letter on top of the pile and walks towards the Bazooka. He feels extremely stupid at the thought of shooting himself with such a thing but he does it anyway. The Bazooka drops to the ground as he disappears and his thoughts are lost. Like the pain that he feels, all regrets can wait until they're no more.

—

**May 7th.**

_In his memory, Gokudera remembers the first time he agrees with Yamamoto Takeshi as being an interesting experience. Even he's surprised at the turn of events but the warm smile that the Rain Guardian gives him secures a minor place in his heart. That minor space expands with time and before he knows it, it's big enough to be dominating._

"Sorry, but I'm changing that," Gokudera of ten years in the future says upon landing in the past. "Ah… I don't even know if I'm at the right place."

Once the air is clear of the smoke, Gokudera looks around to make sure that he's where he is supposed to be. Luckily, he finds himself in his apartment with the calendar nearby. He confirms the date and time and then sets the coded letter on his pillow. After that, he takes a five minute stroll away from the original location that he is supposed to be.

—

_Gokudera will never openly admit it, but he really did choose Yamamoto Takeshi over Sawada Tsunayoshi that day. He feels a little guilty over his choice but he doesn't exactly regret it. The Tenth Boss of the Vongola family will be well cared for by his mother. Gokudera claims that he's only came along to show support on behalf of the Tenth but his whole heart is here._

_"Good job!" Gokudera cheers alongside Sasagawa Ryohei when Yamamoto's team wins._

Gokudera presses the phone against his ears and listens carefully when Yamamoto speaks. It's been a long time so he has chosen to give in. He had told himself that he will only be answering to the Tenth's calls but when Yamamoto's name appears on screen, he literally jumps at it. He does not understand why he's still so hopeful. The many trips to the past changed many things but Yamamoto's indecisiveness remains.

[You know I suddenly remembered on May 14, ten years ago, you punched me really hard. Why'd you do that again?]

_Because you tried to molest my lips!_

Gokudera is looking at the little note to himself. It has codes to remind him of the things that were supposed to have happened ten years ago. Minor changes have occurred since his last visit but he can still see himself with Yamamoto Takeshi ten years in the future. Their relationship is blurry and confusing but nothing major has changed. The reason for him to keep going back is still present.

"Heh," Gokudera mentally praises his younger self, "Is that all you called to say? I'm on vacation right now and I'll only be taking calls from the Tenth."

[Wait just a second, Gokudera. I got the gifts. You should have at least stayed to let me see your face. I haven't seen much of you lately.]

"I was busy." _And so were you._

Gokudera ends the call with an irritated grunt as he kneels to leave the flowers. He's decided that he will not lower himself that much for a man that cannot make up his mind. As always, Yamamoto Takeshi is an idiot that tends to take things as they are on the surface. He doesn't look deeper and everything is just _simple_. The Storm Guardian crosses his legs as he lifts the cup and sculls. He holds a silent conversation with his mother and informs her of his choice.

"I'll have him come here to see you." Gokudera declares as smokes flare.

—

**May 30th.**

_"I like you."_

_Gokudera Hayato remembers the way Yamamoto's voice sounds like a poisonous melody when he confesses. Although precious, Gokudera feels the venom eating away at his heart. He curses his memory, because the vibrating sound of Yamamoto's voice stays vivid for as long as he thinks about it. It's almost like a rain shower of minute affection. The only problem is the fact that it's only a cheap replacement and nothing like the real thing._

"Che, I'm already here?" Gokudera complains when the smokes clear and his surroundings are visible.

He picks up the phone on the ground to examine the time. In his memory, two minutes from the time on the clock, Yamamoto Takeshi will show up. A part of him wants to stay to hear the confession but with ten years of experience behind him, the Storm Guardian knows better than that. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Gokudera lights a smoke and his explosives. His younger self did a half-assed job at burning the coded letters. The message is still rather clear.

_14. Harm… Yamamoto. 19 hours, 23 minutes, 45 seconds and 60 milliseconds._

He tosses the bomb at the letter and rushes to the station. He buys a train ticket that will take him to a suburban area and hops onto the empty train. He uses the borrowed weapon and seals himself in his seat. The train ride will last hours but he will not be the one directly suffering it so Gokudera enjoys the view for a short three minutes before he's gone again.

"Huh? I'm back already?" The younger Gokudera exclaims once the smoke clears.

He mentally thanks himself from ten years in the future for giving him the chance to go and see his mother. Gokudera wonders why he's on a train even though he's supposed to be meeting Yamamoto for something the man has claimed to be important. His attempt to stand and search his surroundings strains his wrist. He looks down at the cuffs that hold him and finds another coded letter by his feet. Narrowing his eyes, he reaches over and flips the folded paper open. Silently, he deciphers the message given to him.

_Remember this is for the Tenth's sake. And by the way, those are Hibari's cuffs so don't break them trying to get out—you'll cause trouble for yourself in the future. At the end of the ride, you'll find the key. I need those back so make sure you keep them safe. Stay put. Also, it'll probably get confusing without _that _but tolerate it for a while longer. Burn it properly this time, you idiot._

Gokudera crunches his brows together but makes sure to burn his letter properly this time. As he sits on the endless ride, he wonders what it is his future self is trying to accomplish or change. But if it is a request from himself and for the Sawada Tsunayoshi, it is probably a positive thing and most definitely beneficial. He is the Tenth's right hand man after all.

—

_Suddenly, his surroundings change. Gokudera is doing something odd again and Tsuna is in a state of panic. Of course, it's all Reborn's fault. Reborn says things to stir Gokudera's sense of duty up and he becomes excited as he aims to work hard at being Tsuna's right hand man. For entertainment, Yamamoto joins in, but Gokudera can't remember what is 'normal' between them and what or how he is supposed to act after that._

_There is nothing between them, so why did they kiss?_

Hibari doesn't turn to glare but he's still quite angry. The head of the Foundation is still the same, though matured. He still enjoys picking fights and ones with Gokudera seem to interest him more now. Hibari reasons it as entertaining because Gokudera Hayato is probably one of the most idiotic herbivore he has ever met. However, he faults himself for finding little spaces in his heart to trust the herbivore to keep a promise.

"I'm sure you went over a few days."

"Oh stop being pissy about it," Gokudera raises his voice, "I'm returning it in perfect condition aren't I?"

Hibari Kyouya snatches his cuffs back and examine it carefully, "I don't know what you're planning but if you keep showing up in Namimori when you shouldn't be, I'll punish you."

"Eh? You saw me?" Gokudera exclaims, "Moreover, you remember? What was I doing?"

"How should I know?" Hibari glares, "Anyway, get out or I'll bite you to death."

Gokudera raises his fist but doesn't actually attempt to hit. He still has to thank the older man for giving him a temporary place to stay while he is in Japan. So with that kind of treatment from Hibari, he mentally calls it even as he leaves. Hibari only turns when Gokudera exits and waits for Kusakube to slide the door open at his discretion. The vice-captain of the committee's action comes a little later. He bows his head as the door opens.

"Kyou-san," he speaks in a serious tone to hide a sigh, "Yamamoto Takeshi is here."

The Rain Guardian invites himself in like he's just coming home. Hibari readies his weapon to battle but as usual, Yamamoto laughs it off and finds himself a seat. Apparently, he has something important to discuss today and Hibari is the only one who can help. Hibari doesn't believe any of it. It is probably something useless that the Rain Guardian did not want Sawada Tsunayoshi worrying about.

"So, did you find anything on what I asked?"

Hibari raises a brow, "Why should I?"

"Doesn't it interest you in the least?" Yamamoto laughs, "Seriously, I think something's going on. My memory's going haywire. I can't remember the first time I did it with Gokudera. Wait, huh… why'd we even do that?"

Kusakabe's mouth drops open and Hibari makes sure to bash some sense into Yamamoto. Hibari is quick and swift. The Rain Guardian peels himself from the floor and rubs his cheeks with a laugh. Hibari looms over him, daring him to say more while informing him that it'll be his last chance to say anything at all. Yamamoto scratches his head in an embarrassed manner and chuckles the tension away as he always does.

"Or any of the other things for that matter," Yamamoto continues, "It's really weird. Are you forgetting things too, Hibari?"

Hibari turns away. He doesn't meddle. "I'm not interested."

—

_When he reflects on it, he doesn't understand the progress. There is neither a confession nor words exchanged to confirm anything. Every time he turns Yamamoto Takeshi down it should have worked to deter. Instead, without words, they find themselves intertwined for no reasons at all. Gokudera wakes alone in the morning, aching all over and not sure how many times it's been. Is it the first or is it the last?_

Anybody who looks can tell that Gokudera Hayato has been working hard. They may not know what for, but the exhaustion his evident. Once he takes account of all the changes he has made he realises that he will not need to use the 10 Year Bazooka Reverse so often anymore. He's just returned to Japan and although exhausted, he doesn't mind that he has another mission already. Currently, the Storm Guardian does not want to stay in one place for too long.

"Of course, Tenth. I'll head to Spain then."

[Wait… I'm sending Yamamoto with you. He's worried about you, so talk to him.]

Gokudera pauses for a moment, to let Sawada Tsunayoshi reconsider. He can hear a hint of regret and uncertainty in the Vongola Boss' tone. The drawn out silence leaves both of them feeling slightly awkward but neither wants to address the issue.

[Gokudera-kun? Are you still there?]

"Yes, Tenth. I've something I'd like to do in Spain beforehand so I'll leave first and meet him later."

The conversation ends and Gokudera is surprised at his ability to lie like that. He's never done it successfully before and most certainly not to the Tenth. A bitter taste of guilt is left behind on his lips but he holds back the urge to call back and apologise. Gokudera packs his weapons and an extra suit to change and heads off towards the airport. He boards the next flight and sleeps for most of the trip, mentally planning in his dreams as time moves on. One more event will settle it, but he feels that it'll definitely bring him long term trouble.

—

_He feels regret all the way down to the pit of his stomach. Once again, he feigns ignorance and allows the chance to slip him by. At this point, Gokudera questions his future self and his motives. If it was meant to be beneficial, he did not understand why it was hurting so much. Rejection puts a distance between them but he still finds himself falling deeper._

_"Well, since you both understand the concepts now, I'll take my leave." Gokudera excuses himself, "I have a feeling that my sis—"_

_"She showed up," Tsuna frowned as soon as Bianchi threw open his door and proclaims love for Reborn, "Are you going to be alright, Gokudera-kun?"_

_"Fine," Gokudera forces the words out as he clutches onto his stomach, "I'll take my leave then. You better look after the Tenth baseball idiot."_

"Hey, what'd you just do?"

Gokudera looks up from the window pane and stares blankly at his roommate. Yamamoto stares sternly as Gokudera ignores him and continues climbing back inside. The floorboard changes to a darker shade of brown as droplets of rain drip endlessly. The Rain Guardian takes a step forward, locking Gokudera between his spread arms and staring directly. The skies are clear today, but ten years ago, in Yamamoto's memory, it was raining heavily.

"I asked you what you just did," Yamamoto repeats, "I had a flash of memory just now. What were you doing, ten years in the past? I don't call Lambo using the 10 Year Bazooka on you."

Gokudera slaps Yamamoto's arm away and goes to grab a towel. He attempts to dry his hair in peace but Yamamoto sits on the bed opposite of Gokudera's and stares just as intently as before. The Guardian of Rain wants answers and he's not backing down until he gets them. He's always been a persistent bastard, no matter what Gokudera has managed changed. Even so, Gokudera is glad with the lack of development there. It just means that Yamamoto is still clueless about his surroundings.

"Just some test runs of the Reverse Bazooka," Gokudera offers a half-ass answer in attempt to shake off his old companion, "I didn't do anything. That damn thing is still useless as it's always been."

Yamamoto's eyes widen and there is evident confusion, "Then why…"

"What?" Gokudera questions, "Aren't you just paranoid? Or did you do something you shouldn't have?"

Yamamoto pauses at the thought. There are some memories intact and he doesn't quite understand how they can be. Their relationship is so disjointed Yamamoto doesn't actually know what to make of it. Gokudera would have felt the same way too, if he did not have a diary that contains his decisions. It makes senses of things that have been erased and his plans can continue. Gokudera shakes his head and continues to dry his head. Even to the very last moment, they still have this _spark_ and it annoys him. Gokudera plays a melody in his head, trying to ignore thoughts and memories that are swarming around and threatening to explode.

Yamamoto raises his voice as he stands, looming over Gokudera, "Do you know something?"

Gokudera stares back. "What are you talking about?"

Yamamoto narrows his eyes as he searches for changes in Gokudera's expression. He's panicking on the inside but there is nothing about Gokudera's body language or expression that tells him he should be worrying. The guilt that has built up within him threatens to burst when he takes in the innocent expression that the Storm Guardian wears. He's not even sure what will be right to say but he feels himself moving to confess.

"_Haya_—"

"I can do this mission by myself," Gokudera interrupts, raising his voice with a mocking tone, "Your heart doesn't seem to be in this. I won't tell the Tenth so you can take the day off."

He needs to avoid the danger that comes with Yamamoto calling him by his first name. Gokudera pretends that he does not see the hurt expression on the Rain Guardian's face and moves the topic. Gokudera enjoys working alone and after scouting the area, he feels that one person was sufficient for the mission.

"We work together well though," Yamamoto argues.

Gokudera raises his voice, "I don't want to work with you!"

"Come on, come on, we've worked together before. It gets the job done faster."

Gokudera glares but gives in to the goofy smile on Yamamoto's face. Gokudera decides that it will not hurt to take a mission together for the last time. When morning comes for them, his reasons will disappear and it'll just be Gokudera enduring it for the sake of the mission. The job will be done tonight and when they wake, they'll return home to what will be the norm.

—

Yamamoto's body aches despite all the exercise that he gets. The sun shines through the window and when he turns to the warmth, he spots Gokudera on the balcony. The phone is clamped between the Storm Guardian's shoulder and his cheek as he lights his smoke. A short conversation occurs before Yamamoto steps out into the sun. He leans over the balcony and stares down at the lively street of Spain. Gokudera steals a glance and then pockets his phone.

_Annoying_, Gokudera thinks as he clicks his tongue, _what's so important about an anniversary date anyway?_

The Rain Guardian turns when Gokudera hides his sigh in the air of smoke. Yamamoto is not sure why there's a hint of surprise himself when the words roll off his tongue. He's known about that person for ten years now. But he feels as though it's a sudden knowledge that's forced its way through his memory. He doesn't like it but he cannot pinpoint what kind of feeling it is.

"Was that Kikuchi?"

A small nod comes from Gokudera as he exhales. He steals a glance at Yamamoto who keeps his gaze fixed on the street. Whenever he looks at the Rain Guardian, Gokudera cannot explain what his feelings are. He has worked hard for ten years to forget but somehow, he still allows his one sided feelings to reign. Regret and pain continues to plagues him, though he is unsure of why. He cannot remember why things have turned out this way.

"I see," Yamamoto chuckles, "I was worried you might turn out to be like Shamal."

"Heh," Gokudera scoffs, "If the baseball loving idiot was able to give it all up to be by the Tenth's side, I can do this much."

—

_He dreams of a history that is no more. Though it is awfully fuzzy now, Gokudera still remembers the day. The conversation went smoothly, like a planned script. She says her name but he doesn't think he'll remember it. Gokudera fixes his gaze on the floor as she confesses. He knows his feelings and he has things that he wants to say. He knows them clearly, in his heart and in his mind, but when he thinks about saying it, something stops him._

_Gokudera's heart clenches and cries to be noticed but he ignores it. Instead of saying what he knew to be true, he crushes the confession letter in his fist and looks up. He pulls his lips across his cheeks and parts his them slowly. For a brief moment, it feels like his body isn't even his own._

_ "…Kikuchi-_san_, right? I look forward to being with you."_

_Fin._


End file.
